Friday, April 3, 2009'♥
"being a kid doesn't hurt, right? :D"
3.4.09. time : 815pm
i am super tired.
i can't stand this anymore
i just feel like giving up.
what keeps me going, is the fact that i know that GOD has a plan for me somehow. he protects me in little little ways, and that keeps my faith solid.
its difficult
i'll breakdown.
but someday, i'll be happy.
and when i am, this won't matter.
it gets worse before it gets better.
went to school, had english, supposed to write out storyline and plan for essay.
did it, then started to do step-by-step, the sequence.
then had recess.
super tired alr
like mentally
had recess.
had chinese.
FROM TUESDAY ONWARDS. I WILL LISTEN DURING LESSON.
that, is a promise i make.
aft that went to LT
in the midst of having hist lesson, i was emo.
its like nothing i said was the right answer.
i started to scold myself
like really.
then i got really emo, and that really drained the enrgy from me.
felt like crying.
got teary
but didn't cry.
i realised, that i can't really be who i am anymore.
what i used to be, is kept underneath.
is let loose only at home.
now, i can't even laugh at certain stuff.
i can't make jokes without knowing that i'll be embarrassed.
i can't NOT do what they want 'cos that'll just be social suicide.
i can't do LOTS of stuff.
it not the same.
its either them, or me.
but i think its me.
i'm not PMSing if that's what you're thinking.
its true.
think bout last year.
how was i like.
and compare.
i can never be myself.
that's why i stray way from stufs like that.
'cos i know that nobody really knows what i am like.
'cept my family.
never felt envy like this before.
not hatred, just envy, and wondering why i can't do it.
why i can't be original?
WHY?
WHY?!
science drained me.
and no, mr oon's scolding didn't help either.
call me weird, it actually affects me.
then aft that went to cafe.
then went up to class, to help clean the class and decorate it.
aft decoratng the board, cleaned the walls.
and then went to math class late.
[olympiad,]
then stayed for like 1 h +
then went bk to class.
and arranged tables.
into new seating.
then was late for piano
wenjie dropped meoff at little india mrt.
rushed to piano.
[thanks wenjie]
piano was tiring.
my hand hurt, n my head hurt.
it was playing, not the events that happened previosuly in the day.
and i kept yawning
was super tired.
1 peice, spent HALF an hour on it.
as in during lesson
came home
SUPER TIRED.
showered.
cried.
blogged.
time, 8.32pm
