Tuesday, April 22, 2008'♥
"being a kid doesn't hurt, right? :D"
22.4.08 haiz
today wasnt a good day.
1.
i was looking horrible today
2.
during art... ms kong asked kavern who was doing work.
then kavern said ' elisabeth and me (kavern)' then it was like......... ariel wanted to help. but
1 . she didnt have ppt, so she cldnt write the script.
2. she was told last minute.
WEIKAI :
- said he ' did the final editing ' but apparently 'cldnt send to us bcoz he didnt have internet'
what kind of crap?! so rich go and buy a router larh.
u go and sell one of ur hps. can buy alr.
- had it in his thumbdrive BUT didnt pass to us even though he had .. .. i dont know how many days.
- 'lost' his thumbdrive last minute.
CHINGYUEH:
-kavern dont tell him what to do. ( or explain)
-is away from school most of the time
see?>
and i
- transferred all the info from the file into ppt.
- helped to add pictures
and MANY MORE.
AND WHAT THE !!! I STILL HAVE TO GO AND DO ANOTHER PPT!?
HOW UNFAIR IS THAT.
AND KAVERN DONT HAVE TO.
I HELPED TOO OKAY.?!
JUST BCOZ KAVERN IS THE LEADER.
MS KONG TREATS HIM LIKE HE DID ALL THE WORK.
WHAT THE HECK.
TALK ABOUT BIASEDNESS.
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3.another incident of biasedness:
presentation this morning
i got 6/15.
3 for eyecontact 3 for tone
sucks huh.
then _________ went up.
and what the heck.
got 6/15 TOO
2 for eyecontact and 4 for tone
WHAT!? _______ DIDNT EVEN HAVE
EYECONTACT.AND I SPOKE BETTER?!
BIASEDNESS!!!!!!
JUST BECAUSE _______________ HATES ME, YOUSHLD STILL BE FAIR!
UR FAVOURTE STUDENT. WHATEVER.
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4.i saw _____________ today.
:( he looked pissed.
he looked irritated.
he looked at me as if i was the last thing on earth he would want to say.
what about those words you told to me?
i tried to talk to you
you know how much courage i had to muster up just to say ' HI?'
why'dya have to make me feel like shit.
why'dya have to treat ariel so bad? even a simple 'hi' to ariel would be oky.
why did you ahve to make me feel so embarrassed!?
why did you have to make me feel so unwelcome. so unwanted?!
i'm
UNWANTED enough in SCHOOL.
GIMME A BREAK!WHO CAN I EVER TURN TO TO
NOT FEEL
UNWANTED!? LIKE I'M WANTED. LIKE I'M WELCOME.!?
5.
and i disappointed myself.
what happened to my stamina?
this process is so difficult.
esp with D____ teasing me about stuff that i dont wanna be teased about.
how'dya think i feel huh d______
i thought you were my friend.
whenever you just had a bad day. you take it out on me. i comfort you. i listen to you.
i lend you a shoulder to cry on. and you turn hyper. i dont mind.
then you start to tease me.
ITS THE SAME CYCLE.
STOP IT.
6.today i was also supposed to go to yijing's house.
but yijing and jenna were both doing their ppt. since their GROUP couldnt care enough to help.
its sad.
SAD.
SAD
7.on the bus home, i SERIOUSLY considered suicide.
no not cut myself.
SUICIDE.
its........ scary.
i never thought that i would think about it before.
before i reached sec1.
everything in my life was still going right.
turns out, my life wasnt ever so perfect before.
suicide, now it dont seem so scary an option
its a very tempting option.
VERY.
